I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's blow job season.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
