glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
