Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
