i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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