no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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