I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
