Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
