I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize