hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
this is an emotional support booty call
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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