Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
