well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Rumble strips road head = magical
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
