my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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