I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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