This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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