We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
