i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
