She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize