so explain again why im purple
no
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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