I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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