Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
