I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
