You're so nebulous sometimes
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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