you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
