Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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