Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
