Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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