when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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