last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
