let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
