no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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