proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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