did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
