Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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