Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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