what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
