doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize