He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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