Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
