You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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