His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
