my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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