did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drunk is not a location!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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