Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
