My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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