I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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