Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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