Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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