I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
