After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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