once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
