I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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