Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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