So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
