Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
