In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
