Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
