i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
