It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize