But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
