Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
then he tried to convert me to islam
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
