she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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